10 days... 2 steps forward, one step back

10 days. 10 DAYSSSSS!!!

A lot has been going on this week. And not all have been fabulous, which is why I've been putting off a report.

The downs...

Visited the Florist today to confirm the arrangements and number of bouquets and boutonnieres. Made some adjustment and inquired as to the delivery time. They said, we'd have to pick the flowers up ourselves because we did not pay for them to be delivered in the first place and now they have too many deliveries to make on that day. Missed THAT memo when they first quoted us. So now we have to find someone to bring them to the site because I sure as heck am NOT dealing with it the day of the wedding.

Still working on Music for the DJ to play during the pre-ceremony, ceremony, and reception. My lovely fiance changes his mind about every other day. Today's song is "God gave me you for the Ups and Downs". How fitting.

I need to pack my room because moving day is Saturday, same day as my bachelorette party. I'll be dealing with all that jazz the day after...


The ups...

My Birthday was a blast with some of my very favorite people, so YAY for the birthday celebration becoming something amazing.

My horse Danny had a long day of moving Sunday and was feeling a bit sore by
the end of it. Here are some pictures from his adventures!

When we first arrived with the trailer, Danny came calling, CANTERING,
and BUCKING. He didn't realize that we weren't BRINGING someone to
him, but we were TAKING him with us. He loaded in with no problems and
barely a resistance. Danny talked the whole ride to his new home.
Anyone with their windows down heard his chatter.

Car ride!

Come unloading time, Danny was ready to get right out and going. On

our first walk, Danny met a herd of Donkeys to brayed in his face and
followed him alongside the fence, a 20yr old appaloosa, who is looking
for a pasture mate (looks like he may have a new buddy when he's all
better!) and a statue horse which he talks to and grazes with like
it's real.

The Donkeys all brayed when he strolled by

This is Ace! Danny's new best friend :)

Danny neighed to this horse statue, thinking it was real

New Pasture, New Life

Danny now has 2 full acres of grazing land (NO SAND!!) and a big open
shelter with soft bedding inside  (He has tree cover for shade on top
of that). Danny's water fills itself up twice a day to make sure he
always has fresh flowing water and gets 3 servings of alfalfa pelts (2
of those medicated) daily and two flakes of coastal hay morning and
night. He is also being spoiled with carrots and various other treats
by the in-laws :-P

My fiance and I just signed a lease for a condo 5 min up the road, so we will be able to attend to Danny every day. He also has newgrandparents that adore him and think he's a big sweety :)

One more down...

My lovely, dutable fiance gave Danny the wrong night and morning dosage. Instead of one scoop of bute for pain, Danny recieved one scoop of electrolites for dinner and breakfast... one scoop of which is good enough for a 10 gallon bucket of water... So my poor boy has been in pain and very VERY thirsty since I left him last night and until this afternoon.

Let's just say, my big man's a trooper, and my fiance is learning to READ the label and ASK for HELP when he's unsure...

Updates to ensue...

OH! and did I already say 10 days?? 10 DAYSSSSSSS!!!



15 days... The Inevitable Birthday

Today is October 28th. Today is my birthday. It seems for the first time ever, I'm less than enthusiastic.

I turned 24 today. Nothing particularly special about the number, other than the fact that I'm ALMOST half way through my 20's. Statistically, I'm where I should be in my life ... almost done with school, working, getting married, moving out, starting a family... n-such.

I'll be celebrating. Dinner at the Melting Pot with Dustin, his parents, and mine. Going out with a few of my girl friends to our favorite club. Dancing, drinking, partying, and sleeping till noon tomorrow. It'll click in there somewhere that today is a special day for me to celebrate.

But I can't help feel that the big picture is so much more important than this one little day that comes around every year.'That's the thing about birthdays, it's kind of an annual thing' - Tangled.

All I can think about is how much needs to get done before the wedding, when I can move Danny, and oops! I forgot we're throwing our yearly Halloween party Sunday and still don't have a costume!

I'm going to smile today and be happy, because everything is going better than I could have hoped for, and I have the most wonderful people in my life cheering me on along the way. So really, this day is a day to celebrate all those who make my like year to year that much better.

Here's to you, the beautiful people in the world <3

19 days... Family Matters

Here we are, less than three weeks before the wedding and we STILL do not have all the RSVP's in. I guess that's typical these days with all the other forms of communication. My new favorite 'Hey! you know i'm coming to your wedding, right??' he/she texts. Well, alright i'll take what I can get.

My mother, future mommy in law, and myself have been diligently putting tables together. It's definitely a challenge for a large and complicated family like mine. I am the product of divorced parents... from divorced parents. My fiance's side is half white, half Persian. Makes for an interesting social and cultural dynamic. So the game is; 'Who can I sit together that will enjoy each others' company or at least not ARGUE with one another'. YAAaayyy...

On that note, I had an argument with my grandmother today. GRANDMOTHER! I grew up calling her Grandmama because she was more like a second mommy to me. Yes, I have been busy with work, wedding planning, and keeping my horse alive, you're right, I have NOT been able to go shopping with you. But I'm still a bit hurt by the fact that you could not make it to our Engagement Party OR Bridal Shower. And PLEASE do not use the excuse that you're almost 70 and could drop dead any day. Grandmama, you are a survivor, pity excuses don't fly with me. You are a professor, and a quick witted one at that, your manipulative tactics don't work on me, and when I call you out on it and you get flustered, DON'T call ME manipulative and too young to comprehend all that she deals with at her age.

::WHEW::

Sorry, It's very upsetting to me when family spouts how much they love you and when you actually try to express how you feel instead of just bubbling over... it's just very frustrating. You can tell me all day how much you love me, but if you can't show it, it means little.

Which brings me round and round to the 5 Love Languages. Dustin and I were fortunate enough to attend a marriage seminar about a year into our relationship (we got a bit of a head start in the right direction!).

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

This little book has made a big difference in how we show affection to one another. When I tried (calmly) to tell my Grandmama how I accepted love (spending quality time together opposed to gifts) she spewed that I was too young to philosophize. Why is it my generation is not taken seriously?

On a high note! The vet okay-ed my horse for travel, animal control has given permission for him to move to another county, and yesterday the Hamzehloui's and I worked all day to finish the shelter! Needless to say it still needs a bit of work, but we're almost done!

We should be able to move Danny by Sunday. It's the best birthday present I could ask for!

24 days... Hardworking Fiance

Every day I ask the Lord how I was blessed with such a wonderful fiance. This man i'm so fortunate to marry has taken on so much to make me happy. He took care of my dog who needed medical treatment (after she'd bit him twice - no worries! She adores him now) without any questions. He's spent the holidays traveling from house to house (because I come from a 3rd generation of divorce parents). He's been working like crazy for his father's business to be ready to move into our new life together and studying his butt off in fire school to live a flexible career.

For the last year, Dustin has taken it upon himself to provide a new and suitable home for my horse Danny. His project has taken him longer than anticipated but it wasn't until recent that it became of the utmost importance to move him. Dustin has transformed 2 1/2 acres of wilderness into a nice pasture for Danny.

 

The shelter is still a work in progress, but so long as the vet gives Danny an OKAY! to move (and possibly a sedative), he'll be closer to me, my fiance, and my new family :)

26 days... Stress and Miracles

October, my favorite month of the year, is here. In Florida, it's generally not cold till, well, EVER. But with the first of the month, a wonderful chill settled in and constantly breezes by (if only for the mornings). This month has been beautiful and a blessing because one of the most important creatures in my life faced a life and death struggle and is still fighting the odds.

My childhood pony found himself in a dangerous predicament on September 30th. Neighbors discovered him trapped in a fence after at least a day of struggle. When I had checked on him two weeks prior to get all his veterinary work up, he had been fine. He currently resides on my father's property with the agreement that any money my father is supposed to put towards my schooling, health care, and the wedding, should go to Danny, the horse that was to be my 'wedding present'. The horse has been held over my head since he was 'given' to me when I was 12 years old.

When I learned of his entrapment I rushed to him. When I arrived on scene, I found him at least a hundred pounds underweight, dehydrated, bloodied and bruised. My poor boy could barely stand. Animal control was present as well as our vet, who informed me that he had been trapped for at least a day, if not two, and had buckets of maggots pouring out of his sheath. I was horrified to imagine the graphic details of that moment, but his current condition was enough to send me over the edge as it was. My father was grilled and threatened with charges of animal neglect and I had no mercy for him. This was my baby, and he was going to get what was justly due.

The vet left me with specific instructions for his over night care. She gave him a 50/50 chance of survival. The next morning (after staying up all night and sleeping outside as a chill came in), Danny's mood seemed a bit lighter. He was definately ginger on his feet, barely baring any weight on either back hooves.

The next few days involved round the clock care. I called out of work to ensure I would be with Danny through his toughest hours. My father was relentless on ensuring he was doing his part to 'make up' for the neglect he not only disposed upon my horse, but myself.

Exactly a week after the incident, just when I thought he was making some progress, Danny starts limping one three legs. His scabbing has come off pre-maturely. The vet examined his swollen leg and pussy hoof. She looks at me dismally and declares that he's worse than she thought. The back part of his hoof is so thin that he's so susceptible to infection she only gives him a 25% chance of survival, and that's being generous. If he gets infected, he could lose his hoof, just like an infected nail bed would mean the loss of a nail. Losing a hoff spells death for a horse. She leaves me with syringes and fluids, bute powder for pain, and oral antibiotics and says it would be a miracle if he survives.

Another week and a half later and constant care on my and my father's behalf and we've reached a deep sigh moment. Danny seems to be over the big hump, so long as he doesn't reopen his wounds. The vet is pleasantly surprised by the pictures and stories I've been telling her of Danny's progression. He is bearing weight on all four legs, he's walking with a barely noticeable limp, and he's healing remarkably well. His feet are nice and pink and new skin seems to be growing in. His weight is coming back beautifully, and his spirit is back in full fledge.

 (posing!)

 (KNOCK KNOCK!)

My little miracle man is doing his best to stay well for me and that's more than I can ask for such a tough guy. As soon as he's able, he will be moving in with my in-laws at their 10 acre home. My fiance has been working on a fence and shelter for him for months (this accident came right before we were going to move him...) and is just about ready for his arrival. While he may never be able to ride again, he will be alive, and healthy, and close to me and my new family.

47 days... The Art of Performance

This weekend I had the opportunity to witness three separate accounts of performance art.

The First was my very first Cirque Des Soleil show! My parents surprised my fiance and I with tickets to Dralion at the UCF Arena. It was wonderful! The whole time I'm sitting there thinking, all these people wanted to do from a young age was perform and showcase their talents.

What courage it must take to display yourself in front of hundred, thousands, and ultimately millions of people! You are opening yourself up to so much judgement, I mean people are REALLY, REALLY judging you. We left the performance in awe and thoroughly entertained.

The Second was my Fiance's friend's going away party. We 'surprised' him with our presence driving up to Jacksonville to celebrate the weekend before he is to be shipped off to Kuwait for an 8 month service. I assumed it would be just a nice dinner party with food and drinks and reminiscing. And sure, it was all those things... plus flying napkins, table dancing, and a belly dancer!

After a drink, or so, I was able to join the rest in dancing on top of tables learning how to belly dance and 'kongo line' -ing it around the restaurant.

The Third act of performance was done by one of my bridesmaids and the dance studio she is a part of.

The style of dance showcased the other evening was that of modern and interpretive. While I appreciated the talents of many of the young dancers (and of course my fabulous bridesmaid), the performance took place in a studio, seating up close, and ground level; NOT a stage auditorium. Very different perspective. You could read the emotions on each individual dancer's face and hear the impact of the persons weight on the ground. And most of these girls were not size 2's.

Afterwards, we congratulated my dear friend on her performance and I treated my fiance to a milk shake. He's a wonderful man for putting up with my occasional need for culture and obsession with supporting friends in whatever 'art' they pursue. 



This weekend was exhausting and fun, something different from all the planning that has been taking place in the last several months but in the end it left me feeling a little less frazzled. I realized that so many people pour their hearts and souls in front of others and look past their own imperfections. If they can do it, why can't I? I'll have hundreds (yes, hundreds. because 200+ is more than 100) of people showing up to support me, not judge me, on the most important day of my young life.

This weekend also taught me that I'm much more fun once I have a drink in me.

Oh LORDY is this going to be an interesting wedding...

50 day Countdown...

50 days. There are 50 more days (according to our wedding website) until I walk down that isle and up to the man I am going to spend to rest of my life with. I'm going to stand there in front of 200 plus people and say that all too well known phrase 'i do'. Am I afraid of getting married? No. Am I afraid of doing it in front of almost 250 people? YES!!

I'm praying as the invitations come in that people respond 'i regretfully decline' as my mother and I artfully picked as an adequate response to saying NO in attending the wedding. Regretfully decline... oh please, PLEASE don't regret not coming. That means two less eye balls staring at me while I declare the two most infamous words in the English language.

I have been fighting stage fright since I don't know when. It's one of the biggest fears our society deals with in this day in age. I've tried doing drama, leadership exercises, I'm the first to get it over with in a classroom setting, and I'm a cashier for a world recognized corporation. You think I'd be over it by now? Apparently not.

At my Bridal Shower, I had non stop butterflies. Sitting in front of all those people; family, new family, and friends, all I could think about was if i was unwrapping gifts gracefully enough to where they would know I respected their offering and not too delicately that I was an annal prude. It's not like you can just turn the staring off!!

::Deep Breathes::

Okay, Sorry, Let's Start Again...

Hi! My Name is Keira, and I'm kind of a mess.

I'm twenty three years old and currently taking a semester off school to prepare for the biggest day of my life. I'm writing to keep some sanity in getting ready for this MAJOR step in my life. Since I am a Psychology major, I do believe that this will provide me with some self therapy throughout the process. I think my perspective is similar to a lot of young woman my age finishing school, working to work, and maintaining a healthy social life and relationship.  I can't speak for everyone, but I will try to give an honest depiction of, well, life. In general.

These next 50 days are the 'Final Countdown', if I may. More than likely it will be filled with stress, mood swings, partying, more stress, and food. Because I love food.

So bare with me and I'll do my best to be entertaining.


p.s.  http://www.mywedding.com/dustinandkeira/